Toy Shopping
by Cosmos Senshi
Summary: [SanaTezuAtoFujiRyo] When the old toys wear out, it's time to get new ones. However, the best place to be is probably five miles away from these guys.


Warning: The crack is infectious. It will eat your brain and spit out plotbunnies that will breed underneath your bed. The author is not responsible for any loss of brain cells that may occur after the reading of this work. SanadaxTezukaxAtobexFujixEchizen (a.k.a. OT5) is everywhere.

Disclaimer: I don't own Prince of Tennis. I can't seem to find any OT5 plushies at any conventions either. -sadface-

---

Looking back, it was all Sanada's fault.

It had started out innocently (or as close to innocent as the five-man orgy could get) enough. Sanada had noticed the slightly battered appearance of some of their favorite . . . toys . . . and suggested going to get some new ones. This plan was whole-heartedly accepted by Atobe, who had wanted to get his lovers some special treats for a while, and Fuji, for no apparent reason than amusement. Tezuka and Ryoma were a little harder to convince, Tezuka because he still had somewhat of a reputation to maintain, and Ryoma because he was still in high school. After much . . . coercion, the other three managed to get their reluctant lovers into the store, whereupon, it became a free-for-all.

"Saa, Ryoma-kun, what do you think of these?" Atobe pointed out a large rack of what appeared to be pills. Ryoma peered closer.

"The latest most powerful herbal pills on the market today. Guaranteed to blow you away, a traditional Asian formulation. Reduce tension, increase your sense of well being." Ryoma read. He frowned, confused. "What do we need herbal remedies for?"

"Oh, they're aphrodisiacs," Atobe remarked, picking up one labeled 'Erotikava Love Liquid'. "I was thinking we might need a little more pick-me-up sometimes after a long, hard day. Ooooh, this one can be used in cooking!"

Ryoma shuddered and walked away, making a mental note not to eat anything Atobe made without testing it on someone else first. He passed where Tezuka and Sanada were having an engrossed discussion on the pros and cons of two brands of showerhead anal plugs. "But this one has interchangeable attachments." Tezuka argued. "Bumpy or smooth."

"Yes, but _this_ one can glow in the dark." Sanada argued back.

"That one will fall apart with the use we'll give it!"

Ryoma smirked as a respectable-looking woman blushed red and nearly ran towards the opposite end of the store after hearing his lover's chatter.

Fuji was in a corner, studying the men's leather harnesses that came in 'Full body', 'submissive' and 'dominator' forms. The 'submissive' also came with a ball gag, while the 'dominator' featured a 'Tantalizing, Teasing, Terribly Sexy!' whip. He moved on from those and selected a cockharness from the wall.

"Ryoma, come here a minute." Fuji studied the size of the harness against Ryoma's hips, and then his own. "I think that'll do," he pulled four more off the wall, and placed them in an already overflowing shopping basket. Ryoma peeked in the basket. Inside were an assortment of cockrings, assbeads, buttplugs and lubes. Ryoma picked one out at random.

'MOLD YOUR OWN DILDO!' it screamed. 'This is one of the Hottest Items This Year! Create your own rubber dildo from your own penis (gives "go fuck yourself" a new meaning) or make it from a friend's cock. Safe, easy and fun. Makes a great gift for that "special" friend.'

"It's for when one of us has to go on vacation." Fuji said with a smile.

----

Meanwhile, back in the anal douche section, Atobe had joined Sanada and Tezuka's heated discussion, and after much deliberation, it was decided to buy both kinds. "We should probably take a look at the role-playing section now." Atobe remarked, placing the toys in his hand basket, which included one of every kind of aphrodisiac the store sold. "I think I've acquired a taste for it after Ryoma's Little Red Riding Hood performance. The three men sauntered vaguely towards the selection of costumes, stopping occasionally to coo at the selection of videos and place a 'Do It Yourself Adult Movie Kit' in Atobe's basket.

They were not disappointed by the store's assortment. From the Pizza Guy who delivers hot sausage, to the Doctor giving an Exam, there was a costume for almost every occupation known to man. Sanada was partial to the G.I. Jock with a missile launcher, while Atobe preferred the policeman with a dildo gun, but all other ideas were set aside when Tezuka found the tennis player with a cock-handled racket. Five sets of that costume (In everyone's sizes) were placed on the front desk in front of a very amused store girl.

"Hey guys, how about a game?" Atobe leered. Tezuka and Fuji wandered over to where he was looking at the board games (Sanada and Ryoma were selecting some new flavors of lube). 'Cockopoly', 'Laid', and 'Sexual Pursuit' were some of the more recognizable rip-offs of 'Monopoly', 'Life', and 'Trivial Pursuit'. "We can have a Friday game night. Poker, roleplaying, and these."

Tezuka took 'Cockopoly' off the shelf. "Do not pass Go, do not get a handjob. 'Cockwalk' – Three articles of clothing and a blowjob. Price of landing on owned Cockwalk – anal probe by player who owns it."

Fuji pulled off 'Laid' and read something equally perverse. "That is an excellent idea, Atobe. Provided we don't run out of articles of clothing before the game ends."

---

After two hours in the store, looking through every section, practically anally probing it, the five lovers were finally satisfied with their selections and ready to check out. The salesgirl had not had this much fun since the 4 man group bought a variety pack of flavored lube and one man threatened to rape another with his (abnormally long) braided hair. She cheerfully rang up their ten baskets full of purchases, and even made small talk with Fuji, comparing the qualities of different vibrating wireless nipple clamps. The bill steadily grew larger, especially as everyone kept leaving the register to come back with something they had forgotten to put in their basket. Even Ryoma had given in, filled up his own basket, and was now running back to the counter with a selection of glow-in-the-dark vibrators. Tezuka wore a paid for button pinned on by Sanada that read 'Glomp Me' with a psychedelic rainbow background. Atobe was investigating the backroom for any more cock-handled rackets, and Sanada placed another whole basket full of 'See-thru Patent Pouches' on the counter, which had a "nice little 'peek-a-boo' net in the middle to see the package before you 'unwrap'".

"Five hundred, seventy-eight thousand, three hundred twenty-five yen." The cashier finally announced at least a half hour later from the time they placed their purchases on the counter.

All eyes turned to Atobe. He beamed. "Let Ore-sama take care of it." He assured his lovers with a dazzling smile. "Do you take Orico?"

---

As they all exited the store, goodies in sixteen brown bags, Ryoma suddenly remembered something.

"Guys, I left my jacket in the store. Hang on a second." He passed off his three bags to three other men (He honestly couldn't tell, they were obscured by bags) and ran into the store. The girl looked up.

"Do you remember what I asked you?" He puffed.

"Oh yes." The girl smiled and pulled something from underneath the counter. There were two things – Ryoma's missing jacket, and a pair of handcuffs. Actually _pair_ is somewhat inaccurate. It was four pairs, all strung up together, with chains that would easily fit around the triple-king sized bed they all shared. Best of all, the handcuffs were pink. _Fuzzy_ pink.

"How much do I owe you?" Ryoma asked, digging into his pocket.

"It's for free." The girl said with a grin. "Just make sure to lose the key. Accidentally, of course."

Ryoma gave her one of his rare smiles and tucked the handcuff chain into his jacket, which he then folded over his arm. He left the store with a smirk that looked something chillingly like "I'm going to be seme tonight."

---

A/N: Orico is a type of Japanese credit card. Atobe shelled out $5000 U.S. for their goodies. Crack is good and tastes yummy with peanut butter. I like reviews and toast.

**THERE IS A SEQUEL TO THIS STORY!!!!!!**

(I'm really tired of getting reviews asking if there's a sequel. Read the damn notes) It is too explicit for FanFiction . net so I posted it on MediaMiner.

The url is:

**http(colonslashslash)www(dot)mediaminer(dot)org(slash)fanfic(slash)view(underscore)st(dot)php(slash)115711**

Place the appropriate markings where indicated by parentheses.


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